You Go Girl!

Just got the news today:

IT'S A GIRL!

Too emotionally overwhelmed to type much. Thought I'd include the song "Girl" from Frente though since it's very pretty and kind of made me cry a bit when I got home and listened to it.

Local Legends

The Timbers Army and the ECS of Seattle have had a long running competition of tifos; large banners that cover a good part of the stadium that have recently become symbolic of the rivalry between the two teams. Last year, the Sounders really won that war with a four part tifo paying tribute to past (and current) legends. The Timbers Army followed it up with an adequate but not groundbreaking tifo of their own. At the game this Sunday, the Timbers Army revealed a tifo that caused confusion in some fans, mainly due to the sleepy eyed, lightly afroed man depicted in the middle of it with the saying "Legends are born when the previous are surpassed." Impressive, beautiful, and baffling for those of us unfamiliar with who the man was.

So the guy in the middle is Clive Charles, a local legend. He played for the original Timbers from 78 to 81.  He then played Major Indoor Soccer League for the LA Lazers for a while, but retired in 82 specifically to move his family back to the place he loved and coach soccer in the Portland area. Four years later he began coaching at the University of Portland and founded Portland FC.  In his time with the Pilots, he coached the likes of Kasey Keller, Steve Cherundulo, and Shannon MacMillan. He was one of the assistant coaches for the 1998 US World Cup team and coached the 2000 men's Olympic team. He died in 2003 from prostate cancer. He is considered a vital component of the creation of Portland's soccer culture and a lot of stuff in Portland that is soccer related is named after him.

The tifo does bring up a valid point about our lack of soccer legends in the States. I wrote recently about seeing a NASL Sounders game while growing up, but honestly, I wouldn't be able to name a single Sounder from that time period. From a recent Goal.com article featuring interviews with MLS VP Todd Durbin and Thiery Henry:

Durbin argues that the biggest weakness that MLS has in attracting athletes and fans to the league is the lack of history that soccer has in America. Unlike in Europe, where some teams have been around for over 100 years, MLS debuted in 1996. The MLS executive believes that most aspiring athletes and sports fans envision themselves as the popular players in the currently established sports leagues.

…

Henry agrees with Durbin in that respect.  "It's hard when you grew in a house where your dad is always talking to you about a team. Then you grow wanting to be that guy [on the team]," says Henry. "That's also what you're competing against, you're competing against history."

 In the current Timbers squad, they don't have anyone of legendary quality and the only one likely to become a "legend" is possibly Jack Jewsbury, although more for his spirit and work ethic in captaining the new Timbers in their first few seasons. In contrast, the Sounders already have Kasey Keller, Roger Levesque, and a debatable burgeoning legend in Freddy Montero.


The tifos last year were more about taking jabs at each other, but not so much with this one. "Legends are born when the previous are surpassed" is definitely a taunt, but it really isn't directed at the Sounders and is more of an attempt to urge the Timbers to become something more. I hope they heed that call.

Genderama!

So this Thursday is the day of H's ultrasound, the most likely time that we will see the child's gender. For some reason, I feel like this will make everything more real.  I mean, it's not that things haven't been real so far. It feels like moving though.

Whenever H and I move, it's an exercise in procrastination and denial. We make token efforts to move things around, maybe throw some books into a box, maybe clean out the fridge. We somehow delude ourselves into thinking we are making decent progress.  Then comes the move out day. Just thinking about move out day makes me tired...  We've always underestimated how much crap we have and how much cleaning we need to do.  It becomes an experience in last minute exhaustion.

I really, really don't want this to happen when it comes to the baby. Unfortunately for H and me, I think we need a tangible sign that prompts us to get ourselves in gear prior to the last minute. Hopefully the little guy will be giving a thumbs up or pointing to his wrist or something when we get the pictures!

Cascadia Cup

This weekend is the first clash between the Timbers and the Sounders of the season. While I consider myself a Timber these days, the derby always provokes such conflicted feelings for me. Honestly, I feel like I'm one of the few people around who can legitimately call themselves a Cascadian.

Before the Rave Green

In 1982, the Seattle Sounders of the NASL made a dream run to the championships, though they eventually lost to the Cosmos. Somewhere during this time, my parents got tickets to what I believe was one of the playoff games. This was the first and, unfortunately, the only soccer game I attended during my childhood as the NASL would fold a few short years later. At the time, the Sounders won though!  The city was crazy and I remember people honking horns and yelling "Go Sounders!" on the drive out of Seattle (we were too poor to afford a hotel room in Seattle, so we drove back to Yakima after the game.)  My take from this game: a Seattle Sounders t-shirt.  I don't remember who we played, but I remember this shirt fondly and wore it a lot.

Before Timber Joey was Timber Jim!

Fast forward about 20 years. The MLS has been around for a good 10 years at this point, but pointedly ignores the pacific northwest. I had moved down to Portland for grad school and was getting back into soccer. That's when I heard about the Timbers Army. These crazy fans that came out, sang songs, beat drums, and cheered all for a mediocre USL team. It was so very Portland! You could just show up at the gates, get a ticket for $10, and be part of this European atmosphere where Timber Jim would fire up a chainsaw for the fans. It was great. While I never considered myself part of the Timbers army, I loved going to games and sitting in the GA section. For me, it really re-awakened a love for being a fan of the game and I truly considered myself a Timber

Drew Carey leading a March to the Match

Time moves on though, and H and I ended up moving back to the Puget Sound area where the Sounders were. The rivalry was fierce between Sounder and Timber even in the USL days, though, and I didn't have much interest in becoming a Sounder fan. Something cool happened, though. The Sounders moved up to MLS! Since the Timbers were USL and would only meet Seattle once in a blue moon in the US Open Cup, I could be fans of both! That first Sounders year was a great year, too. The Sounders had recruited local hero and one of my idols Kasey Keller! They had the March to the Match before games, often led by Drew Carey, where supporters marched blocks to the game with a parade band, singing songs and ending at Qwest Field where a carnival atmosphere was going on. H was really won over by the Sounders during this time and frankly, still considers herself a Sounder. Meanwhile, I also followed the Timbers online, my only conflicted moment being the clash in the US Open Cup that elevated Roger Levesque to infamy.

Things didn't work out for us up north, and H and I moved back down to Portland. Then, for me, one of the worst things happened:  Portland landed a promotion to MLS. The Rivalry was back on and now in full effect and I could no longer have my cake and eat it too. In situations like this, people don't respond well to you calling yourself a neutral and goad you into taking a side. In some ways I understand it. Attempting to "rise above the fray" smacks of pretentiousness. On the other hand, I do feel like I'm one of the few people out there who has a legitimate claim to both teams.

This time of year, I sigh, and I put on the Timber colors for the game, since if forced to choose, I go with the local team.  I'll cheer for the Timbers, but what I'm really cheering for is a tie.

TGIS: The Lord of the Rings

I think that seeing Peter Jackson's "The Fellowship of the Ring" was the first time that I truly felt that movie making had entered the future; the first time I actually felt that we had the technology and ability to bring fantasy to life. When it was first announced that he would be making The Lord of the Rings, though, I didn't really get my hopes up. All fantasy movies before had failed rather spectacularly. Only a year earlier, the Dungeons and Dragons movie had been released and while it had decent special effects, it was dragged screaming into the Abyss by a painfully bad plot, poor characterization, and a Wayans brother. This is what we had come to expect, though. Fantasy movies weren't allowed to be good for some reason. And the only movie version of LOTR we had to compare things to was this:

In 1978, Ralph Bakshi released the animated Lord of the Rings (which is really only Fellowship and part of Two Towers).  Looks pretty freakin cool, huh?  Well what you actually got was this:

That's Frodo on the right (really the only character that Bakshi actually captured). On the left are Merry and Pippin, so bland and identical that you never bother to learn to tell them apart.  In the middle is Sam, who looks like he's part of a different freaking species from the Land of Derp. I mean, sure Sam is supposed to be husky and awkward, but he also is supposed to emerge as a hero and ultimately the real strength of the Fellowship. This is really one of the bigger problems for this film. Bakshi's vision is based on the introduction of the character and not what they are supposed to become.

I think this scene of the Bridge of Khazad Dum illustrates more of the flaws.  Here's the Bakshi version.



So we've got Boromir as a ... viking or something? Legolas as the ultra white fairy. Gimli looks less like a dwarf than Boromir does. And Aragorn is a human shaped piece of beef jerky with a sword. These characters are visually unappealing, vocally unpleasant, and just kind of... bleh. They don't really capture the imagination. Oh and the orcs.

Waddup?

Bakshi made use of a technique known as rotoscoping. You film real actors, then trace over them to create animation, which allows for artistically changing reality. You can't argue that it doesn't do a great job of making the orcs look "otherworldly".  It also makes them look like they're from a different freaking movie though.

Then comes the balrog, a flying creature whose only weakness is... falling.  Wait, does that make sense?

Well, flight is a Daily Power and I used it up getting to the bridge...

Anyhow, Gandalf doesn't really shout, but... enunciates? at the balrog in a quavering old man voice that he is the keeper of the secret flame. Then they hit swords together and Gandalf appears to... accidentally break the bridge.  *sigh*

I'm Gandalf the Derp!

The falling flying balrog then whips him immediately in. No suspense. No commanding presence from Gandalf. Just an old man breaking a bridge and getting whipped by a demon. Then Aragorn shoves hobbits around afterward.

I lead by pushing!  Which ironically puts me in back!

There is no sense of pathos or loss after the fall of Gandalf. The only emotion conveyed is anger and frustration. Honestly, this version just leaves you feeling irritated. Though not quite as irritated as the fact that Bakshi wasn't even allowed to complete the series and they pulled in Rankin-Bass to finish it in a totally different animation style.

WTF?  Is this Gandalf the White and the Seven Fucking Dwarfs?

It's good that Bakshi made the 70's version if only to serve as a guidepost for future directors of what not to do. Thankfully, this is all behind us now and we live in a future where Tolkein's story was brought to life in a manner it deserves.  Let us end with the more passionate and genuine balrog scene from Peter Jackson.

Star Wars Fatigue

I'm not sure when it happened. It could have been the truly terrible "Episode II: The Clone Wars" movie. It could have been while insulting the intelligence of his fans via the whole "Han shot first" issue. It could have been the final, forced, and anticlimactic "Noooooooo!"  I don't rightly know, but the one thing I realized recently is that somewhere along the way I stopped caring about Star Wars. I'm... worn out.  Not by all the fan culture stuff mind you. I love the creativity of fans and all of the novelty star wars beanies, cosplay, fan movies, etc.

No, the big thing is that it all seems to be catered to a man who does not respect his fan base. Star Wars is dead inside. These days when I see a desk made to look like a Tie Fighter, I only find myself feeling sad. You see, it's gratifying to particpate in geek culture when the creator is not only the guy who made it, but is also a fan. Felicia Day, Peter Jackson, and Joss Whedon are examples of people who aren't just creators, but fans of their work who will geek out with the best of them.

Felicia Day singing "Still Alive" from Portal w/ John Coultan at PAX

Has Lucas ever done anything remotely this cool?

I don't think that George Lucas is a fan of Star Wars, though. Not anymore at least. All he ever really wanted to do was make movies about hot rods and by extension, hot rods in space. Now he's ended up being trapped in this franchise since the 1980's. And even though he was a probably bit creeped out by his fans and their intense devotion to the brand, he still accepted it and, if not respected it, he at least humored it.

Then came the prequels.

Great film about this!

While we didn't know this at the time, it is now understood that Lucas had become complacent and had started believing his own hype when he made the prequels. A lot of the brilliance of "A New Hope" and especially "Empire Strikes Back" really came from the people who took Lucas' raw vision, refined it, and told Lucas to sit down and shut up where needed. In fact, in Empire he gave up the directing AND screenplay writing to other people so he could focus on the special effects. Some of the most memorable lines from Star Wars were never written by Lucas! Unfortunately for the prequels, the ambitious trailblazing talent this rebel filmaker had surrounded himself with in the 1970's had since been replaced by people on his payroll who didn't know how to disagree with a legend no matter how stupid his ideas were.

Living in this foggy Xanadu, I'm sure Lucas was shocked as he saw the rabid adoration of his fan base turn into feral rage at he and Jar Jar upon the release of "Phantom"; fanboys gnashing their teeth and venting vulgar fury onto the internet. Shock likely turned to frustration, then disappointment, and now his feelings towards his fan base have distilled into a palpable disdain.

While I obviously have sympathy for him, I personally can no longer tap enthusiasm for things Star Wars related since all I can sense is the scorn of George Lucas. At best he is apathetic, at worst he acts with an "I'm going to take my toys and go home!" attitude. He and his fans are now adversaries, which saps away the magic for all of us. His "re-imagined" Star Wars is not just a selfish denial to the fans that would rather not watch it (Lucas refuses to release the originals and will only sell the ones with computer generated images in them), but is disrespectful to all of the other people who worked hard on these movies. The original Star Wars won academy awards for the space ship battles. Innovative geniuses worked to push the boundaries of sci-fi movie making forward, but get no say in Lucas' decision to whitewash over their efforts with computer animated fight scenes.


Which then makes me think, isn't there a better direction for fans to take their passion? Why not lavish it on a creator that deserves the adoration?  Lucas has "retired", but unless someone steps up to his or her own vision of the galaxy far far away (eg. The Battlestar Galactica reboot), it will really only serve as a sluggish, wheezing juggernaut blocking up the corridors of imagination for the future generations of creative talent. I, for one, am more curious about what they have to say in their own idiom rather than another Lucas Arts sponsored game or cartoon that continues to beat a dead tauntaun.

Ash Nazg Durbatulûk!

(Bonus geek points for those of you who recognized the title!)

So one of the cool things about having a wife like Hydee is that she really indulges a lot of my geek tendencies. She respects me having time blocked off in my schedule for D&D, she made a hand knit Brain Slug, and listens patiently when I share fantasy characters and world building maps I've made. The most recent case in point though: My wedding ring.

I'm a fiddly guy. I like to have stuff in my hands to do things with. In class I do pen spinning while I listen. In the past during breaks at work I used to juggle. When I used to smoke, I loved having a Zippo so I could do lighter tricks.  Hell, even typing a blog fits in to this category. So getting a ring means I would  fiddle with my ring, twisting it on my finger and likely irritating the skin underneath. How to solve this problem? Enter: the Gear Ring.

It really is as cool as it looks in the video. H remembered me liking it from a few years back and ordered it for the wedding. Now she could have demanded a traditional wedding band and I would have completely gone along without complaint. (Considering how informal our wedding was, she had every right to!) Instead, she goes ahead and gets me the cool ring! I really am a lucky man. 

Soccer Stole My Updates!

Sorry all for the lack of updates lately. I've been a bit obsessed with the European Championship which has sucked up most of the free time I would normally use to write.  Seriously, today there were two games at the same time so I had the Spain vs Croatia game on my laptop, Italy vs Ireland on may iPad, and was following commentary on my phone. Once the group stages end there won't be every day games, so I'll get more consistent. Until then, here's Danny Welbeck's awesome goal against Sweden!

Mahwiage

So we finally did it after years of putting this off!

Apologies to all friends and family who may have wanted us to have a wedding. The reality is that H and I are not big time party people. The times where we did have discussions about weddings ended up with both of us being overwhelmed and stressed out. We decided that in the end, the day is about us, and as two introverted only children, we realized that we just wanted to spend the day together. Throw in the fact that the impetus of fnally sealing the deal (the impending baby!) also ensures that the chances of us getting exclusive time to each other in the coming years will be slim, and we decided a laid back elopement weekend was the best choice!

So we started out on Sunday with a trip down to Bend, stopping to play disc golf and have a picnic on the way to check in at the Old St Francis School.

Such a nice day

Water break!

Then dinner then soaking pool (H went to bed early, so I watched Cabin in the Woods at the the hotel theater later)

Soo relaxing

Next was a laid back breakfast (I got to watch the Euros during it too!), then just hanging out at the hotel room and drinking coffee.

Eventually we got around to, you know, getting married and all.  The appointment  was at 2pm at the courthouse.

My "Earl" picture

No cold feet!

We had the ceremony performed by a local judge and she was great!  She confessed she had some anxiety about our wedding since H had referred to me as her partner, and with my androgenous name, she was relieved to see that she hadn't promised a marriage to two women that she couldn't deliver on! (Hopefully someday that won't even be an issue!)

With this ring

I now pronounce you

Soo happy!

You may kiss the bride!

Beaming!

God I love her!

So I know what some of you might be saying.  "Guys, it's not really a wedding unless the bride and groom dance together."  Well suck it traditionalists!

Why are we playing DDR?  Because logically, you follow a wedding up with a place that has mini golf, right? (This more than anything else explains why a traditional wedding just wouldn't work for us!) First you have to decide who goes first via fencing.

Then you have to use a driver to get to the green.

Then there's the stylish strolling around the grounds.

And finally, a confrontation with The Dread Gazebo that stole my hole in 1!

And back to the hotel to relax.

Then PIZZA!

Good stuff!

Seriously? While I'm eating?

Then back to the hotel, back to the soaking pool, and drinks by the courtyard fire pit.

All in all a truly wonderful day!  H and I are so happy right now!  Since this is kind of an oddball way to get married, we checked in with each other a lot today and were both relieved that neither one of us was having regrets about doing things this way.  We were delighted, the weekend was wonderful, and everything was great!  More pictures to those who ask for them!

Cravings

(What follows is what I'm assuming is my first encounter with a pregnancy craving.)

So I'm blearily blinking my way into the land of the waking one morning when I'm greeted by H's face inches from mine.

Me: Er... Morning?
H: You want to get breakfast?
Me: How long have you been staring at me and willing me awake?

What next?

H: Not sure. We don't have hash browns.
Me: What time is it?
H: Seven thirty AM. We don't have potatoes either.
Me: 7:30 AM on a Saturday?
H: Yeah. I really want hash browns. You ready to go?
Me: Wait... Wha?
H: And eggs. Hash browns and eggs.
Me: I worked swing shift last night!
H: (pouts)
Me: Look, let me sleep in a bit more.
H: (pouts)
Me: (blinking awake a 15 minutes later, once again with H's face inches from mine) *sigh* Hash browns?
H: And eggs. That place down the street. Ready?
Me: Is this going to be a regular thing?
H: Questions will be answered only after hash browns.

I never got this question answered. That can't be a good sign...

TGIS: Spider-Man vs 3 guys with sticks

The Amazing Spider-Man is coming out next month and the opinion of fans around the world seems to be "Meh." It's a reboot, but a lot of us feel that it's too soon for a reboot, although technically it's been ten years since Sam Raimi's "Spider-Man" came out. Can you believe that?  Ten years? And Spider-Man 3 was five years ago. Still, a reboot just feels too soon.  No matter how much this movie may suck, though, we should be glad it wasn't made in the seventies.

In 1977, a pilot movie and television show called "The Amazing Spider-Man" was launched. Chris and I watched a clip of this a while back and... well see for yourself.  Do yourself a favor and skip to about 4 minutes in since most of the beginning is Spider-Man just crawling on the side of a building. He finally gets into the building though.

Did some extra wall crawlin to strengthen my core!

When suddenly... well I guess I shouldn't say suddenly since it's more like... gradually... he is confronted by three "samurai".  Apparently this was before the days of ninjas or maybe they simply underbid the ninja union.  Anyhow, Spider-Man is cornered by three stunt men with sticks.

Samurai1: Did you ever get around to telling them that we're
not real samurais, but a ska band called The Samurais?
Samurai2:  Shut up man!  We need this gig!

Hold on.  If these are samurai then why do they have sticks instead of swords?

Oh.  That's why.

Despite their sticks, Spider-Man beats the "samurais" up and then comes the coup de grace!  He's going to secure them down to the ground with his patented super strong webbing! He...

Are those... cobwebs?  I'm not... was Spider-Man dehydrated or something?  I just... *sigh*... anyhow.

Spider-Man runs away and hops out the window, the webbed "samurai" slowed only momentarily by confusion and possibly revulsion.

He climbs the side of the building to the top and...

Wait, did the "samurai" simply climb the stairs and almost beat him to the top? This uber superpower is canceled out by guys using an everyday thing? WTF? That's like 70's Thor having a vulnerability to polyester! So now they fight all over again but the "samurai" are no match for Spidey's Mule Kick Style.

You should see my Donkey Punch!

Spider-Man then webs a pole on a nearby building with a much less flaccid performance than in the hallway and swings over to it.

Peace out y'all!

While visually it's not impressive, the comments point out that this is not CGI and is a real guy. Kind of sucks to risk your life for such a lackluster effect though. I mean, compare it to the Spider-Man vs Doc Oc fight in the 2005 movie.  Even if the special effects begin to show their age, you have to admit that the 2005 Spider-Man is a lot more spidery than... Cobweb-Man here.