Moving on

It's been tough to get going with writing since my dad died. I really wanted life to just.. stop. During the window of time between my father passing away and his funeral, I tried taking it easy. After one day of moping around the house while taking care of Cleo, I realized that this really can't be the case. We're just not designed to not do anything.

So it was that when H got the invite to have Cleo involved with a photo shoot for a friend, I agreed.

So the campaign is for the Nurse Midwives Oregon Affiliate about how one in five babies is delivered by a midwife. A nice, awareness raising campaign. Seven of us were asked to show up with our babies dressed in white onsies. Five babies at a time would get pictures with one wearing a colored onesie (hence the one in five)

I was, once again, the only unaccompanied male (one couple was there, the rest were moms). It might just be that I'm numb from everything that has happened recently, but I think I'm finally just used to being the guy with the baby because it hardly even phased me.

If you were to describe a group baby photo shoot as the equivalent of trying to get glamor shots out of a small family of cats, I would have to correct you, but only to add in the phrase "unmedicated bipolar cats." Sitting five babies down at a time and expecting anything except chaos is flat out crazy. Kids would cry, poke their neighbor baby in the eye on accident, or fall asleep. One poor kid was smiling and doing an amazing job, truly A+ material and was well on her way to being the star of the shoot, when BAM! Faceplant, bloody lip, and inconsolable. By the end of the photo shoot, we couldn't get five kids down at the same time without one crying.

For me, it was nice to know that I don't have any pagent mom in me. I was a bit worried about this, that I would get all competetive and go all "Toddlers in Tiaras mom" on the set. Not the case though. I'd set Cleo down when asked, but if Cleo didn't want to be set down, then it didn't even cross my mind to make her do it and she was back up in my arms.

What was most fun for me was just seeing Cleo around a bunch of kids her age. They really are developing personalities now! Some were laid back, some were interactive with the photographers, some were very parent focused. It was neat to see Cleo in the midst of all of this. At multiple points when set down amongst all of them, she sat quietly, observant, an analytical look on her face, as if participating in all of this wasn't nearly as important as understanding it. Maybe she wasn't the star and maybe she won't make the final cut, but my only thought during these times was "Fuck yeah. That's my girl."