Forgiveness (Part 1)

(I've been in a bit more of a somber mood, but since I do want to continue posting, I'll post what's on my mind lately even though it's not quite as entertaining as the usual stuff.)

The theme of forgiveness has come up a lot around me lately; even outside of work. Posts on Facebook, offhand comments from friends, and was rather prominent in the documentary I saw on Ricky Williams (Run Ricky Run). So I thought I would write about it.

I thought I'd start with the definition since I think It's a concept that I think has evolved.  Here is the current definition of "forgive" when you google it.

Stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

If we look at some of the past definitions, it is more about the act and less about the personal release.  For example, there is a site that has definitions of words from dictionaries in 1838 and 1913.

1. To pardon; to remit, as an offense or debt; to overlook an offense, and treat the offender as not guilty. The original and proper phrase is to forgive the offense, to send it away, to reject it, that is, not to impute it, [put it to] the offender. But by an easy transition, we also use the phrase, to forgive the person offending.

There is no real mention of release of an emotion. This definition has more in common with the other interpretations of the word, the erasure of a debt.  

In 1913, we do start seeing shades of letting go, but not until we get to the later definition of "forgive".

1. To give wholly; to make over without reservation; to resign.
2. To give up resentment or claim to requital on account of (an offense or wrong); to remit the penalty of; to pardon;
3. To cease to feel resentment against, on account of wrong committed; to give up claim to requital from or retribution upon (an offender); to absolve; to pardon

So, why is this important? I think it means that we have, within our collective unconscious, two definitions of forgiveness. One is where we feel we are letting someone off the hook for a debt and the other is  more directed at the forgiver letting go of things. The act is the same, but the object of the action has shifted from the person being forgiven to the person who is doing the forgiving. I think this helps explain why we are a bit schizophrenic about the concept since we're often not sure which definition we're thinking about. I plan on talking about that conflict more in some following posts.